Ahtisaari Still Buzzing
Lethal Plan Presentation Coming to Your Town
After smothering leaders of African states with his plan, after squeezing the last breath out of European states’ officials, after garroting the NATO and EU leaders with his proposal, after force-feeding the UN Security Council Ambassadors his draft again, at the end of their Kosovo-Metohija fact finding mission, and after suffocating some UK politicians while breathing down the Contact Group’s neck in London this week, former Finnish president Martti Ahtisaari will next week visit Stockholm and Berlin, and then depart for New York and the UN, his spokesman Remy Dourlot told Tanjug in Vienna on Friday.
Ahtisaari will on Monday be in Stockholm, barging in on a session of the Swedish International Development Agency (SIDA), which will be devoted to Kosovo-Metohija province. On Tuesday, the Finn will take his plan to Berlin, to force it upon the political director and other representatives of the German Foreign Ministry.
As of Wednesday, the Finnish Strangler will stay one week in New York, where he will suck the life out of a number of unnamed diplomats at the UN headquarters. According to Dourlot, during the Snuffer’s stay in New York no UN Security Council sessions are planned, Martti will just buzz around in search for new victims.
The citizens of Stockholm, Berlin and New York are advised by the Interpol to make sure their doors and windows are safely locked and to stay indoors while the Finn is in their town. As an additional precaution, the residents are advised not to bring up the topic of southern Serbian province at any time while the Finn With the Plan is nearby, in order to avoid drawing the unwanted attention, risking to join dozens of victims of the Lethal Plan Presentation. Better safe than sorry, warned a high ranking Interpol official who wished to remain anonymous.